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TRU: The Real U

One Woman With Inner Beauty Can Change the World

Q and A: True Friends

Q and A: True Friends

In TRU’s first Q and A, we will answer a question from a reader. Dear TRU Bloggers, I’ve been having trouble with telling which of my friends are true friends. How do you know if a friend is a true friend or not, and how do you find true friends? Sincerely, Hayley Brittney: Picking good friends is one of the most important things you can do in life. You often spend more time with your friends than you do with your family, so it is vital that you spend it with good people. However, finding these good friends can be difficult and it’s not always easy to tell if your friends are true to you. Going through life you will learn that friends come and go, and sometimes the people you thought you could always count on are no longer there for you. Sadly, this is all too common, but there are definitely ways you can spot the true friends. For me, I have been blessed with a core number of close friends whom I know that I can always count on. While the types and personalities of each of my friends vary greatly, there are common threads between them that you can apply to any “true” friend. While I could give you numerous examples and a long-winded answer, I have narrowed it down to three ways you can attract true friends: 1.      First, be the kind of friend you wish to have. I know this is cheesy and cliché, but it really works. If you want friends who are true to you, you have to be true to them. Most people value honesty, loyalty, and trust in friends, and will be attracted to people who share those values. Be that kind of friend and you will attract the same. 2.      Forgive people. Not everyone is perfect, and relationships can be tricky. When our friends hurt us, that betrayal can be extremely painful and hard to overcome. However, by giving people the benefit of the doubt, and recognizing that everyone makes mistakes, you can save friendships and even strengthen your relationship because of it. Forgiving your friends shows you are loyal and you will create a stronger bond with your friend(s) because of it. Just be careful not to allow others to hurt you continually. If your friends are not treating you the way you want to be treated, even after talking to them about it, you may need to move on. 3.      Finally, spend time with people who make you happy and who make you better. This is probably the best advice I can give. I have found that the truest friendships came from people that make me happy. No relationship is perfect, but you should be happy when you are with your friends and you should feel better for having spent time with them. True friends make you a better person. They don’t want or ask you to be something you aren’t; but they do encourage you to be your best self. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and help you to be good. Friendship shouldn’t be a popularity contest or a competition. If you feel that way with your friend(s), you should consider choosing other people to spend your time with. Lauren: Here’s what some of my friends and I think a true friend is: 1. A true friend is honest. You can trust her. 2. A true friend has your back. She supports you in your decisions, even though she may not agree with them. She helps you when you need it, as much as she is able. 3. Though your friend supports you, part of having your back is letting you know when she thinks you might be doing something that isn’t good for you. She has your best interests at heart. 4. A true friend supports you in your standards and beliefs and doesn’t ask you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. A true friend makes it easier to have integrity and live the way you know you should. 5. A true friend makes you feel emotionally safe. You know she wouldn’t talk behind your back. 6. A true friend is someone you can talk to. 7. A true friend gives as much as she takes. Erin: I’m glad you asked this question, because it is extremely important. Every girl needs friends who will help her and support her through both good and bad times. Some girls can handle a big group of friends, and other girls prefer having a few close friends. I’ve had a lot of friends throughout the years, but I have been blessed with some really good ones. I have...